it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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