hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
