scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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