i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
