$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
