Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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