What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
