I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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