YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
