He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
