If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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