dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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