I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
