i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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