I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
