the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize