Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
