dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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