Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
