wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
