ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
