Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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