I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
