Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
