Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
