I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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