Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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