Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize