I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
