I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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