you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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