Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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