Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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