u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
