Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize