Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
