I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I forgot how hot balto sounded
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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