So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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