I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
