so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
