We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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