I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
