WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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