We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
