Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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