Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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