Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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