this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
