to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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