my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
