but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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