Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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