My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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