I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
