ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I need help removing her.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize