Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
