Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
