You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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