My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
