i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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