I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
