Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
as a side note pls kill me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
