I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
