Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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