I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
